To some it looks like I have it all, bachelor’s degree, blog site, a steady job, car, & I can travel the world at my own pace. What most people don’t know is, I’m still holding onto a special piece of me, which is to be cherished and not given up easily. From my teenage years into my adult years I’ve heard friends says these statements most, “Willie you need to hurry up and do it already,” “You need to hurry up and get laid,” “I just want you to do it so I can hear about it” “You need to get some action for real” “You ain’t getting any younger what you waiting for the perfect person?” I often felt the need to defend my decision for not giving myself away. To this day I have no regrets and definitely glad I’m waiting patiently because most of the candidates I had in mind were not worthy. The end results would’ve been depressing and I’d have many regrets. My question to those who want to rush me into having sex is: What’s the big deal?
Sure I could have already had sex and gotten it over with. Of course a one night stand could occur tomorrow for me or last night for that matter. Does not having sex make me less of a person or a man? After all I’m still a human being. I have feelings and would like to one day explore myself sexually with someone who is worth my time and energy. I refuse to rush into sex for a few minutes of adult fun that could lead to a lifetime of pain, suffering, regrets, sickness, & the loss of self. I have heard many stories from some of those same people who want to peer pressure me into trying sex out. Some of them either have babies they didn’t want, marriages that are falling apart, cheating on their significant other/spouse, wish they’d never lost their virginity, have many regrets, some can’t even finish their college degree, let alone find happiness within their lives.
Hmm, that got me to thinking. Here I am 25, no kids, single, building a strong business empire independently, paying my bills, maintaining great health, living the life I was meant to live; while still having various doors continuously opening for me. If sex is one of my biggest flaws then so be it. I’m not looking for the “Perfect One.” I’m looking for the one who will “Complement Me Well.” This person has to be patient with me and allow me to explore myself sexually at a steady pace. If SEX had an EXPERIRATION date then maybe I’d think of things a little differently, still no rushing if that happened. The person I allow myself to intertwine with will be someone I’m fully comfortable around and makes me feel secure with their love and energy. Even if we broke up 20 minutes after having an intimate session I’d be fine with the choice I made. To a lot of people my age that sounds absurd and unrealistic. What many of them fail to realize is when one starts to accept empty invitations of full promises that are surely going to be broken, which results in the feelings of loneliness, loathed, and shame. Often times they are continuously greeted by REGRET and DEPRESSION whenever that special memory is reminisced upon. It’s only after the deed is done and feelings sink in that some of them realize the experience would’ve been more beneficial if they had waited too.
A friend of mine asked, “What if you haven’t had sex by 35?” I said, “By then I hope to have found someone I could share that special moment with. If not then I’ll keep on doing me because daydreaming, fantasizing, lotion, & my hands do me just fine. I do just fine by myself, thank you.” To those of you still holding on to your sacred human connection don’t be discouraged by peer pressure or negativity of others. Remember to look at the sources that are encouraging your actions. We control who comes into our bedrooms and explore the other side that few will ever experience. As for me giving a play-by-play of what goes down, whenever it happens in my bedroom… Well y’all read the tabloids right. (Laughs)
I pose these questions: Have any of you Starrahs felt pressured by your peers because you’re the odd one out of the group not having sex yet? What did you do about it & how did it make you feel? What were the reactions from those around you whether it was family or friends?
Never For Anyone Else’s Enjoyment,