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Monthly Archives: September 2011

A Love Of My Own???

I got to thinking about a lot of things lately and the one topic on my mind is LOVE?  I’ve been single for what feels like an eternity.  During my college years I envisioned going to class and meeting a special someone who would build a good connection with me and we could grow together, never happened. However, I did flirt a little, but always came up on dead ends and insecurities they had that I could not fix nor was willing to deal with.  As I am getting older the question of finding real LOVE still is unanswered? Or is it?  I must admit years ago I was too busy, preoccupied with accomplishing goals: graduating from college, enjoying time with friends, taking on family responsibilities, and making a name for myself, which is still in progress. 

  What I learned was I wouldn’t have been any good for a potential LOVE interest because I had too much going on to give them any quality attention and energy.  In the end it wouldn’t have been beneficial for either of us.  Lately life has shown me that I can have it all and share it with someone who deserves my time and is worthy of being in my spotlight to complement me, as I them.  Sleeping in my bed alone isn’t what I want forever because I am a human being with needs.  To the person that will have the privilege of being called a LOVER, friendship is a must.  A lot of times we get so caught up in the physical that we forget there is a whole person we’re inviting into our personal space.  Being sure they have common sense, good-hearted and positive character are big factors for me.  I once liked someone so much and tried all I could for them to see it, but when we parted ways I did a lot of reflecting from that experience.  My conclusions were: I am worth more than just waiting around for someone to realize how special I can be to their world, if they let me in.  My feelings do matter and I am a person.  Just because that person could fit the mold of what I want right now, can they last when I am at my worst or when I gain more spotlight attention than what they’re used to?   

Now I’m at a point where I refuse to beg someone to LOVE me because I LOVE myself first.  It’s a daily saga for me that I go through everyday.  I have been making sure that I am on the top of my priority list and everything else is secondary.  My career is gaining a buzz and God continues to BLESS me because I am walking into the light of my destiny.  I don’t have time to stroke someone’s ego or dim my light so that they can feel special and important.  My advice to the person that wants to be in my world, “Know who you are, stand strong on where you’re headed, & let’s try to build a strong connection that allows US to grow into LOVE.”  I’ve seen what real LOVE is through my parents, friends, teachers, and family.  I am ready to take a few risks on developing a LOVE life and allow successes, failures, and memorable experiences to enter.  For many years I’ve been guarded because I did not want people into my sacred space. I was and still am good at picking inside others brains getting a vibe off their thoughts.  Now a select few will get that opportunity.  I understand that this is not going to be all roses and crème brûlée, molded biscuits and sour cream are to be expected as well.  I deserve the chance of being romantically involved with someone to see if I have what it takes to be a beneficial balance to someone else’s life as they would be to mine and my LOVE.

 Talk to me Starrah’s what are your thoughts…?

Simply Following My Instincts,

-Willie J

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2011 in The Starrah © Speaks