I Found Me! (Pt 2.)

I have a lot to be thankful for: I’m alive, got a roof over my head, and focusing more time on writing.  After I lost my job stress consumed me for a few days and my brain was wrapping around how to survive.  I have little money and bills are due soon.  So I went to the one place that many of us go to when we’re down and out, church.  Due to the job I had my Sundays were spent opening the store, so I had to temporarily abandon going to church.  I have a strong relationship with God and know that church is carried with me in all that I do.  Still I hadn’t been to church for a while my energy was not there.  An old friend of mine invited me to visit his church and I contemplated if I would. I did say “Yes,” but had no obligations to him or anyone else for that matter.

Sunday morning had come and I was in debate mode as to whether or not I was going to walk two minutes up the street for a word from God. I showered, got dressed, and started the quick commute to the Lord’s house.  As I entered the church I felt odd because here I am struggling and now entering a place where I hoped my prayers would be answered.  I saw a packed congregation, the choir was jamming, and my Mom in the back row. I joined her and listened with an open ear to everything going on around me.  I felt at home and glad I no longer had work obligations, which prevented me from coming to church.  Sometimes we go through periods of sacrifice and then a shift happens where some of the things we put on hold can now take form in our lives.  For me I never put God on hold, I always held him in my heart and during our daily chats we’d catch up on life.  

As I got more comfortable as the service continued my energy was still unsettled. Had I made the right decision? Should I have stayed home? What was I suppose to learn today? The time had come to hear a word from the pastor. Growing up in church I always looked forward to hearing what the pastor had to share with the congregation.  As I got older I understood the importance of being attentive in church because the messages could benefit my life in various ways.  We got up and had a quick fellowship prayer welcoming Pastor Washington as he brought forth the word.  I was anxious as to what MESSAGE I would receive.  Pastor Washington talked about being BLIND willingly and not seeing our blessings. 

 We got about our daily lives and are sometimes so stubborn to step out on FAITH and do what we’re called to do.  I have held my faith in high regards over this past year.  And I am being tested in ways I never knew.  So many people are inspired by me and what I do in life. They watch the moves I make personal/professionally. He went on to say, “People say its lonely being at the top. No it’s not there’s just not a lot of people meant to go with you there.”  That clicked with me because my circle is always being cleaned out, only allowing room for those who push me further positively and are not afraid to be honest with me.

When I told some of my friends that I lost my job they said “Not you. You’re always doing great at your jobs.” I’m still human and nothing is guaranteed in life regardless of how great of a worker I am.  I can lose my job like anyone else, but the question than becomes what happens after that?  Do I wallow in sorrow? Panic stressing over my finances and how I’ll make money? Or Take control of my life and follow the path I am destined for?  Being in church is a place that is personal and sacred for me. I lay my burdens down and get focused on my spiritual self. 

The sermon was over and it was time for anyone to come up and get a special prayer said for them. I was hesitant at first because my mom wanted me to go up there, but I wasn’t ready.  Then my friend said, “Willie come on up there with me and get a special prayer.” I was still hesitant and said, “No, God knows my heart I already got my prayers answered.” Next thing I know my feet were moving towards the pulpit.  I got to the pastor who I had never seen before and this was my first time at this church.  He said, “I know you’re going through a lot.  You weren’t sure about coming to church today. Things should’ve gone differently, but they didn’t, it is what it is.  You’re stressed and carrying a lot of HURT.  I don’t know you or what happened, but all I can say is keep coming. Release some of the hurt and pain.” 

Tears instantly flowed down my face as one of the missionary ladies hugged me and I released some of my pain. I was cracked open and bare in front of God.  All I can remember is saying in my head, “God you got me open and I’m ready to whatever is next for me.”  I cried so hard and felt whole again.  I do so much for others and now the focus was solely on me. I went back to my seat and cried more tears.  I was releasing so much of the pain I had carried for many years beyond just losing my job.  These past few years alone have kept me busy being the golden Starrah. I was always fixing everybody else’s situations while putting my dreams on hold.  Later on that same lady came to me and said, “Young man God led me to you.”  I am leery of people who say that because you never know if their message is clear or just propaganda. 

For some reason I felt her connection was genuine, so I listened to her message. She said, “Young man you’re special. You and God have a special connection.  You don’t have to apologize to anyone about anything.  God forgives all and he knows everything about you.  Keep him close and always talk to him. You don’t have to explain yourself to nobody about what you’re going to do.”  I was in shock because this woman didn’t know me and said things that no one else knew about.  In some ways she was right on the money as to where I was at this point in my life.  I’m at a crossroads because I can make time to for myself and expand my brand.  I want to move out-of-state soon because I know my time in Cleveland is getting shorter and I’ve outgrown this place.  I’ll always have a home here and can come back to visit, but I’m meant to go further with my career and inspire more Starrahs in the world. 

In a lot of ways I feel FREE having lost that job because it became stressful for me, but I always knew it was a stepping stone for my destined dream.  I still have opportunities opening for me and I have time to pursue the things that are important to me.  Such as journaling, reading, and of course finishing my college guide-book.  So many things I was working on got lost in the shuffle. Now don’t get me wrong I’m on the pursuit for a new job, but I refuse to take the next best thing just to live miserably. I want my next job to use my gifts and talents, not keep me on idle ground. I am a vessel of influence and have the ability to change the world and my surroundings. Why play it small? I’m over being good enough, because my work ethic is Starrific.

Hey Starrahs what changes are you making in your life this year to make 2012 count? 

On The Move,

Willie J

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A Starrah Fulfilled Experience!

Time really flies when you put more focus into what you’re meant to do.  My friend emailed about an opportunity to do a guest blog post for a website called “EntreRev, which stands for Entrepreneur Revolution” . I then researched the site for myself and browsed around to see if I’d be a good fit for their platform…. I was… Then I started working on a blog post that would be encouraging, but a guide for other young entrepreneurs to find their “Inner Voice.”  I think about when I started this blog site, which will be a year old next month. Wow! The blessing of being a writer is my ability to adapt to any writing style and get my point across. 

Before I started writing I reached out to the founder of the site Puneet Lakhi, then crafted my post in about 3 days.  I emailed it and a few days later I’m happy to announce my first guest post for 2012 happened! I was happily shocked because I thought it would be published next month, but I went to the site to see how it looked and there it was.  I’m still AMAZED.  I’ve gotten a lot of support and feed back from various friends.  The lesson I walked away with from this experience is to Pass It On.  Be good & kind to people because you never know where your next connection or job will come from or who is keeping you in mind.  Had my friend not emailed me the link and who I needed to contact this post wouldn’t be needed. 

That is why it’s so important to surround yourself with a network of people that will keep you motivated and push you beyond yourself.  Everyday is a new day for us to continue growing our vision and allow them to manifest.  I am overjoyed and thrilled to have this opportunity to be featured on a site where I can connect with other entrepreneurs that want to build a world of change and empowerment.  Be sure to know that Starrahs you all matter and we must choose wisely what we do in our lives because it effects those around us.  It only takes that one person to see the greater good in you that opens the door to a life fulfilled with your divine purpose.  Embrace all that comes your way because it builds to your story.

Checkout my article and give me feedback Starrahs 5 Tips for Finding Your Inner Voice

Thank You Puneet Lakhi for allowing me to be a part of your platform and opening up doors for other Starrahs to follow. Checkout this site because there are a lot of useful tips and stories of other young entrepreneurs making a difference in our world. We all have something to give,so don’t wait for the perfect time, create it.

Living Forward,

-Willie J

 

I Lost Something

  For the past few days I’ve been trying to figure out what is next for me?  I had just come back from shooting a documentary with my friend Ashley L. Hill, which will debut in the summer.  My week started out fine and then my boss said to me, “Willie we’re going to have to let you go.” What? I’m fired. In that moment all I could think of was what I needed to do, next bills are due soon & I thought things were going fine.  I had done my best at this job, given lots of energy, and structure to this company.  Then it dawned on me, I always knew this could happen because I’m as disposable as anyone else. 

   What I learned from this experience is regardless of what anyone says about me always stay true to my principles, which I did. I turned in my keys, left with class.  I handled the situation well. I was still in shock because I didn’t know what my options were.  Instead of going into a depressed panic state of mind, I went into a handle your business frame of mind.  I made all the necessary phone calls to secure my finances and get a handle on my debts. I’ve had many jobs over the course of six years and never been fired from one of them.  The big blessing behind this one was it was the first time I was fired and at least it wasn’t over anything major.  Things could’ve been handled differently, but it all went the way it was supposed to go.  I had people smiling in my face and giving me compliments, but behind my back they were trashing my name and putting me in a negative light. 

One of the biggest threats to anyone is a confident person.  I didn’t wear my confidence on my sleeve, but I respected everyone and got the same in return.  So the days that followed everything came at me all at once.  My mom was needier than she had been in the past because she thinks now that I had some time off, I was open season.  Then I was trying to make time for myself, but it wasn’t working out as I planned.  A few days before the news came my heart had been giving me an extra beat, but I didn’t know why?  Then I started to feel tightening in my chest.  I told my friend, Lauren about it she said, “Go get that checked out. Don’t play around with you chest.”  When the tightening came back again Saturday, I went to the emergency.  It had stopped by the time I got there, but my doctor gave me an EKG & a chest X-RAY.  I never thought at 25 I’d have an EKG done, but my family had a history of high blood pressure, strokes, & heart attacks.  So I wasn’t taking any chances.  My blood pressure was normal and my doctor said that my EKG & X-RAY came back normal, oxygen was flowing well throughout my body. 

While I was in the ER I met a nurse and quickly told her what had happened to me over the past few days.  She said that I sounded like her because her Mom had breast cancer a few years ago.  Everything fell on her and she became the co-dependent to her mother, though she had 6 other adult siblings that were capable of helping out.  She later told her mother that she could no longer do everything & take care of her family too.  I understood exactly what she meant and knew that I was going to stand firmer on my decision to limit access of myself to everyone.  The biggest hurdle is my mom because she’s very self-absorbed when it comes to her problems & I’ve always been the safety net.  Mind you, I have an older brother and he doesn’t do half of what I do to help out my family. 

The reality of things hit home for me when my doctor said, “Whether you stay strong or not, losing you job was an emotional blow.” I never thought about it that way. I just took it as a loss, but never let it fully register within me.  On the drive home I reflected on what was said and started to come to terms with the emotions of it all.  I cried a few times and wrote in my journal about my feelings.  I got a lot of support from my family and friends. There are a few people I’ve let go during this process because their priorities didn’t match mine.  If I’ve been there for you in your time of need and you can’t even listen to me vent for 5 minutes of your day, then be GONE!  

It’s all still fresh for me because I didn’t see this coming at all. I was blindsided and not expecting this to happen.  I know this is another stepping stone for me and adds to the triumph of the Starrah Movement.  I don’t feel sorry for myself, nor am I sitting in a place of anger for other’s actions because I’m responsible for myself.  And This Too Shall Pass.  

Starrahs have you ever been in a situation where you had a huge set back, but was able to overcome those adversities? Share you’re thoughts…

In my next blog post I’ll tell you all how I’m dealing with things now and the people who spoke to my heart.